bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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