my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
