I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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