I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
