I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
