community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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