I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Enjoy the penises
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
