i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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