i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
