Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
