Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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