and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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