I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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