A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
