Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
