Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
