well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
