Tell her she can't have a vagina
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
People in love make me want to vomit
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
