I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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