You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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