You're completely useless in the revolution.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
