i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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