It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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