sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
