i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've blown a few things in my day
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
