Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
