covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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