I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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