I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I pour the whiskey from now on
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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