Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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