I think i peed on brittanys purse
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
