how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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