Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize