You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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