I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
