We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
