he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
