Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
