I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
