In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
