You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize