East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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