Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
