i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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