Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
