You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
