I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize