once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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