Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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