Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
