Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize