I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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