i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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