Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
