problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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