He felt like a one man threesome
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
