I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
