Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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