everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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