you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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